10 August 2013

Following Advice, Except My Own

 I am taking the advice of my horoscope and my fabulous nutritionist and am going to think about myself. Make lists. I'm good at that. It's the implementation part where I tend to fail. And, of course, I am not following my own rules of this blog. I said it wasn't going to be a pity party...well, guess what? It's my blog, and I'll cry if I want to.
OK, horoscope, here's everything I do well:
-Think about the needs of others: I am very generous (I am a Leo, after all). I love to give thoughtful gifts. I take care of those around me. I think about the needs and wants of others. I often know what others need before they even know it. Call me psychic, whatever.
-Give 110%. When it's not about me: I often put myself before others (which is why I find myself in a pile of shit so often). I'm a fucking teacher. If I put what I want before what others want/need, I'd be an investment banker making bank. But I'm not, and I'm suffering for it. -Talk a good game: OK, so I can say 1000 things about what I need/should/ought to do, but it sometimes takes an army (or at least someone other than me) to get my ass in gear. I can't follow my own fucking schedule, I need one forced upon me.
-Have a mediocre sense of fashion: I know what looks like crap. I might not have a size 00 ass, but I can tell you what looks good and what doesn't. And at least I don't wear jeggings and crop tops. I have more sense than that.
 -Have an acceptable excellent sense of nutrition: Kale is my world. I massage it until the kale cows come home. No real cows in this house, except those drawn and cute on the walls. I know what's good, and not so good, for my body. Do I heed that all the time? No, but I am sure to kick myself in the ass when I don't. At least I don't starve/purge/cut anymore.

Now, here are the things I would like to improve:
-My self-discipline: OK, so I said I talk a good game. Time to turn that shit into reality. I want a killer bod. I want to not be in debt. I want to have control over my (diet) life. I want to know that tomorrow will be better than yesterday. There, I said it. No crying betches here.
-You know what? Self-discipline covers it all. It's all-encompassing. I'm a loser. I fail at so many aspects of life. They're usually the details, which one is not supposed to sweat, but they're the things that can make or break one's existence. And if I can survive for two weeks, I just might be OK. Not great, but OK. Now, on to the actual "to-do" list. Starting with Chalene Johnson's 30 day challenge. I started once, but failed. I won't this time. Damnit. One final note. Here's the last line of today's (OK, yesterday's) horoscope: [There] is no reason to be extreme in your judgment about your shortcomings. You don't need to make major changes now; instead play up your strengths rather than focusing on your liabilities.

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